Here I am again, writing a mandatory post on this day. Happy Birthday to me! One more year added to this life, or to this identity called Chandan Bhat. There are two thoughts in my mind. One tells me that the age I am turning this year is serious, that I am getting older, that there is so much to achieve and experience, and that time is running out. Blah blah blah. The other thought says that time is just an illusion. Time is not real in absolute nature. There is no need to rush anywhere. Calm down. Do not worry. I am simply balancing between these two.

When I look back and reflect on life, what a journey it has been. I feel fortunate to have met amazing people, to have had meaningful experiences and memories, both positive and negative, because both matter. I feel fortunate to have built a few things along the way. From last birthday to this one, a lot has changed. A lot has happened. The past year feels like a roller-coaster ride. I do not fully know what happened, or what is still happening, but I am enjoying the view. It is beautiful.

One thing I have realised is that life never becomes perfect. External circumstances and problems are not going anywhere. We simply become better at handling them, or caring less about them. So it makes sense to focus only on what we can control. We are all in a process, a journey of becoming and unbecoming. A process of unlearning the conditioning imposed on us by our surroundings, so that we can become who we truly are. A journey of finding a home. A home can be a place, a space, people, or an environment where we can be ourselves.

Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place. 
~ Paulo Coelho

For me, life is not a race. When the whole society is rushing and pushing us to participate in that race, I am the kind of person who steps aside, sits quietly, looks at the sky and nature, and enjoys every bit of life. I am following something deeper, a larger purpose.

We are all conditioned by society and our surroundings. We are told that life should follow a fixed structure. I have no objection if someone chooses to walk that path. But I strongly object when the same ready-made structure is imposed on my life. The greatest wealth one can have is contentment, Santushti. That feeling of doing what you truly love, of living a life you genuinely want. A sense of inner fullness and fulfilment. I am content with what I have done so far, and with whatever lies ahead.

Lately, after completing my MBA, I hear many questions from people.

“How’s life?”
“What are you doing now?”
“Why are you not posting anything?”

Good questions.

I am doing well. Life is beautiful. Sometimes my mind and body do not listen to me. At times, it feels like they are working for someone else. But that is okay. I am not them. These days have been filled with reflection, questioning, and inward movement. I am slowly finding my path, my own path.

Now I am walking on a road less taken. It is not a conventional career or life choice. It involves risk. It is not easy, and I know that. But it is mine. And even if I fail, I will accept that with peace. I hope for the good. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.

In life, moments arise and dissolve. All we have to do is observe. To remain a witness. To know that I am not touched by every wave that appears. I am not the boat, nor the sailor trying to control the waters. I am the ocean itself. Life moves in waves, coming and going in its own rhythm. Good, bad, and difficult moments arise. I remain. Calm. Unattached. A field of awareness in which everything happens. Simply watching the dance of the outer world and the inner world.

The Playful Dance of Awareness.

Perhaps this is too much spirituality and philosophy for a birthday post. I have much more to write, but I will pause here. Maybe I will continue this on my blog.

Thank you to everyone for your kind wishes. There is still a long journey ahead.